Your Third Story by Flip Flippen & Dr. Chris J White

Author:Flip Flippen & Dr. Chris J White [Flippen, Flip & White, Chris J]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781532078040
Publisher: iUniverse
Published: 2019-07-14T04:00:00+00:00

• “I will reframe failure as an amazing chance to learn.”

• “I will quit living in fear of making a mistake.”

• “I will be the author of my story.”

• “I will not be dependent on having a boyfriend/girlfriend.”

• “I will stop depending on approval from others.”

• “Because I wasn’t encouraged, I will be a key encourager for others.”

• “I will create a home life where kids feel loved.”

• “I will let the right people get closer to me.”

• “I will stop making self-limiting statements.”

• “I will be more intentional to write good things on others.”

• “I will ask more people to challenge the story I’ve told myself—and then I will listen.”

• “I will find more people who can write on me and help me believe in myself.”

Once you have it, write your Story Line on your Story Plan at the end of this chapter.

DO SOME REFLECTING

Stopping to smell the roses does more than take you to a happy place. It also gives you the opportunity to spot a few thorns you might have overlooked, whether your reflection is mental, verbal, or written. We live in an age of busyness and packed schedules, so it’s important to set aside moments to pause and examine your story.

The night after a friend cared enough to speak the truth about my fear of attending Harvard, I listed in my journal the lies I told myself, one by one. Next, I looked for other areas in my life where similar untruths held me down. Finally, I wrote, in big letters: “I am going to do my best to never let my fears dictate my decisions.”

I try to pause and write down insights about myself several times a year. I ponder the decisions I made (good or bad), the things I said or didn’t say to myself, the people I helped or ignored, and I boil the thoughts down to written form. It’s often easier to spot our lies when they’re written down. When I was going through a rough patch in my twenties, I remember writing down how I felt about myself. The words were dark: insufficient, failure, not smart enough, unlovable. On the next page, I focused on writing the truth: work in progress, learning, worthy of love, capable.

One reason writing is helpful is that it makes you reflect. It’s much less about the journaling and more about the pausing. Also, there is good reflection and not-so-good reflection. Good reflection looks forward, not just backward. Good reflection sees the lessons in the mistakes. Not-so-good reflection lives in the land of forever-lost opportunities. Have you ever wondered how much regret weighs? It would be better to put the weight aside and walk on.

Here are a few other “DON’Ts” when reflecting:

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