The Unburdened Heart: Finding the Freedom of Forgiveness by Suzanne Eller

Author:Suzanne Eller [Eller, Suzanne]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: Forgiveness
ISBN: 9781441224910
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Published: 2013-02-28T16:00:00+00:00

ARE YOU EXPECTING PERFECTION?

Perfection is not going to happen, and we set ourselves up for failure when we expect it. There are things that haven’t changed with my mom. They are small. One is that my mom struggles with negativity. That’s hard, at times, for an over-the-top optimist.

One day, we were in the car together. I had driven to Tulsa to hang out. My mom loves quality time. We went out to lunch and were on our way to a movie. I had listened for almost an hour to a pretty negative conversation. She had every right to share her thoughts, and negative thoughts are sometimes necessary to air out. But this was more than that; it was depressing, and it was causing me to feel resentment.

At that point, I had a choice. I could remain silent and frustrated. I could lash out. I could sigh a martyr’s sigh and think: Why did I even make this effort?

Each of us has daily choice points in every relationship, but we encounter more of them with someone with whom we are trying to reconcile. Some of our everyday choices are random; others are weighty. These decisions lead us in one direction or another.

“Mom?”

“Yes, hon.”

I gently asked if we could change the topic. I let her know that I was excited to be with her, but that I’d love to talk about our day together or any other topic she’d like to share. To my mother’s credit, she signed up! She didn’t realize how the negativity was creating a barrier in our good day until I spoke up. I wish I could say I handle every choice point that way, but sometimes I fail. It’s my prayer that I’ll remember how much those choice points matter, especially with my mom.

You see, our choice points don’t just affect us, they affect those within the vicinity of our decisions, throwing them into a choice point of their own. If I had lost it with my mom, I would have waltzed into an old, unhealthful dance pattern, and both of us would have been stuck twirling away.

Are you willing to alter your responses to imperfections as you acknowledge that you have your own quirks and work-in-progress behavior?

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