The Low-Pressure Guide to Parenting Your Preschooler by Tim Sanford

Author:Tim Sanford
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Parenting / General
ISBN: 9781624057700
Publisher: Focus on the Family
Published: 2016-10-01T00:00:00+00:00

I also knew my daughters well enough to know they were ready for such a free choice. I would not have given the same free-will choice to them if they were ages one and two!

Yes, It’s a Little Scary, But . . .

As parents, this is a part of life we need to accept. The Three Rules of Life are true; they are real. The good news is we already threw out those impossible jobs: make them turn out right and make sure you do everything right (perfectly). Remember?

You don’t have as much control as you would like to have. Your child does have the power to choose life or death, smart or stupid, right or wrong. And that can be very scary for a parent, I agree.

So take a deep breath, and embrace the reality that whatever we do as parents—and how we do things as parents—there is this wild card called free will.

You can do everything right as a parent (not perfectly, mind you, but good enough), and your child can still choose stupid.

That part is not your fault. Yes, it breaks your heart, but it’s not your fault.

I have worked with many parents who did things right, only to watch their children grow up and go the way of stupid choices. How many nights do you think the father of the Prodigal Son laid his head on the pillow with a knot in his stomach and an ache in his heart? (Read his story in Luke 15:11–32.)

I frequently tell clients, “When you fight reality, you lose.” The same is true in parenting. Accept the reality of your preschooler’s free will. Accept it as a gift from God. Accept—and then use—the Three Rules of Life.

Let’s review. What’s not your job?

“To make them turn out right and make sure I do everything right (perfectly).”

Right. What is your job?

“To validate and to nurture.”

Exactly. By doing so, you’ll feel the demands and pressures of should thinking lighten and your job description shorten—even while accepting the truth that your preschooler has free will.

“About time I got some good news.”

Amen to that!

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