Lie to Me by Kaitlin Ward

Author:Kaitlin Ward
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.

Over the next few days, I start to feel like myself again. Like a regular girl who just started dating a boy and has no nagging questions about what happened to her when she almost died. It’s surprising how much more smoothly every single aspect of your life goes when you aren’t fixating all your energy on something there’s no way you could ever solve.

My concerns aren’t gone; they’re still lurking in the background, waiting for me to let my guard down so they can emerge. Like right now, as I sit in the bleachers, watching the soccer team warm up before their final playoff game.

Should I be thinking more about this? Should I be trying to deal with whatever happened to me so it doesn’t happen again to others? I’m finding myself reaching a whole lot of dead ends, and I’m not confident in my Suspicious People list. It’s so short and based on so little evidence. The only person on it who gives me a real creep vibe is Mr. Omerton, and he gives me such a creep vibe that I don’t want to be anywhere near him. Which means I don’t know how to rule him out. And there’s Liam’s dad, based on nothing except the fact that I still haven’t met him and Liam practically develops a storm cloud over his head when he mentions him. And Clarissa, who’s done nothing really to earn her place but who I can’t quite cross off, even though my gut feeling is that whoever did this to me was male.

I haven’t remembered anything new from that day, and my neurologist says it’s extremely unlikely that I ever will. I told her about what happens sometimes when I hear laughter, and she seemed to think it was just a coping mechanism for my brain. I want to remember something so badly that I’m making it up, basically. But there’s still that feeling of someone pushing me, too. And my necklace snapping loose. She’s probably right. She certainly has a much better understanding of how brains work and how they process trauma. It just all feels so real, it’s hard to let go of.

Sky returns from the vending machine in the athletic building, and she’s picked up Grace on the way. I’m relieved to see them, because being alone with my thoughts doesn’t seem to be working for me.

The stands fill up quickly as the game time approaches. If we win tonight, we’ll be state champions for the third year in a row. Fans of both teams are tense, and the players are, too. Hunter has his Serious Frown and Liam’s shoulders look like they’re being lifted by puppet strings.

The game is close and stressful; I can’t stop cleaning my glasses on my shirt as though one speck of dust might prevent me from seeing all the action. Sky’s bitten her nails to stubs. Grace doesn’t care so much about soccer as she does about hanging out with us, but even she sits unmoving except for intermittent hisses of breath when something bad happens.

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