Learning to Trust (The Education of the Heart Book 1) by M.A. Innes

Author:M.A. Innes [Innes, M.A.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2020-08-20T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 13

Leon

Part of me questioned whether watching him sleep was a bit creepy.

But he was so cute, curled up with his bear and his blankie, that I had to smile as I leaned silently against the doorway. It was ridiculously early, but I’d had one too many odd dreams and had given up getting more sleep.

Seeing he was fine and still out like a light, unlike what my dreams kept telling me, I headed back to my room. It would be several hours before he woke, so I climbed back into my bed with my laptop and decided to get some work done.

Getting the rough first draft of a paper finished took about an hour but it wasn’t holding my attention, so I pulled up the internet instead. It wasn’t the best use of my time, but researching things that Morgan and even Destin needed was important.

Especially when Morgan was still hesitant about telling me what he needed.

Well, hesitant with everything but his silent demands to be cuddled.

Either I was getting better at reading his signals or he was decidedly less subtle than he’d been originally because it was much easier to see when he needed a hug or just wanted to be cuddled. I knew logically that research had shown that we were a species who thrived on touch, but I’d never thought about how important it was until Morgan.

Destin’s dive bomb landings and demands to be hugged had probably been my first clue, but for some reason it wasn’t until Morgan that I really understood how important it was.

But it was that line of thought that also had me researching what touches and intimate needs littles had that I wasn’t providing for Morgan. It was a bit of a rabbit hole, but the internet was filled with those.

Diapers, baths, being dressed by their Daddies…the list was surprising and yet not. I knew those were common topics that blogs and stories had touched on, but now I was seeing them in a new light. Yes, they were intimate, but aside from that, they were activities with a lot of skin-on-skin contact.

But were they too intimate?

Logic said they didn’t have to lead to sexual intercourse, but they were all situations in which he might…well, we both might react strongly. I wasn’t at the point where I could pinpoint my sexuality, but bodies were generally not logical in how they reacted.

Just because Morgan was little and knew nothing would happen beyond being bathed didn’t mean he could control certain reactions. An untimely erection was not the end of the world, but I needed to have more confidence about my reaction before I brought it up.

I knew it would be one of those topics where Morgan would insist on hearing how I felt before he would agree to discuss the topic in detail. That usually meant I’d found something he wanted or was curious about.

I found his insistence sweet. However, it made broaching new topics difficult because I had to have an answer to that question before I brought them up.

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