In The Midst of Forever by Bash ML

Author:Bash, ML
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: KMP
Published: 2024-02-24T00:00:00+00:00

TEN

PARKER DIXON

As soon as I got to my apartment, I kicked my shoes off, walked to my bed, and collapsed onto it face down. I groaned while my head throbbed from drinking an entire bottle of wine by myself. I closed my eyes and just lay there until sleep carried me away. I woke up several hours later and realized it was the middle of the day. I forced myself out of bed, took medicine for my headache, got dressed, and headed out.

I went to the gym and worked out. Afterwards, I stopped at a little spot I loved and got a late lunch by myself. On my way home, I stopped at the grocery store and picked up some things I needed to make dinner and meal prep for the week. I took a long relaxing shower, enjoying the feeling of the hot water washing over my skin. Then I did some deep cleaning and made dinner for myself, packed it up, and collapsed on the couch to doom scroll.

I went on one of the dating apps I had downloaded then deleted it immediately. I knew X was right when he told me I needed to give them up. I also knew I wasn’t going through menopause just yet. I had time to find someone, fall in love, and start a family. Logically it made sense, but somehow the voice in my head wasn’t as nice.

I loved my nieces and nephew. I adored them. Kimber was my younger sister and best friend. I would do anything for her without a second thought but I couldn’t lie. Seeing her with two men who adored every little thing about her and the family she’d created was wild. I was happy for her and wanted her to have and create love but sometimes jealousy reared its ugly head and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

I didn’t want bad things to happen to Kimber. I just wanted some of the good things to happen to me too.

Besides my sister, Brix was the person who knew me best. I was going to give myself a year of meeting men in person and dating intentionally to see where it went. If it didn’t work out, I’d try something else.

I tapped on the next dating app I used frequently and deleted it then the third and fourth ones.

I collapsed backwards across my couch and exhaled deeply. I took a second to collect myself, sat up, and pulled up an app to look at some of the bars Brix had suggested to me before. I looked at different groups that met monthly for some of the things I was interested in. I decided that the next time we went to a trail ride I was going to make it my business to talk to someone I thought was attractive.

I put on one of my favorite shows to play while I scrolled but froze a few minutes in when banging sounded on my door.

I made my way slowly to the door and peeked out of my peephole only to find it covered.

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