Honey English by B. Benson

Author:B. Benson [Benson, B.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781456769468
Publisher: AuthorHouse
Published: 2011-12-19T00:00:00+00:00

Genevieve’s Dad now in another woman’s home. No time to work out anything, no time for Genevieve to see her Father more than fleetingly, and then furtively, against the pregnant girlfriend’s orders.

When asking my husband to leave for a few weeks, it never crossed my mind that Genevieve would cry every night for one solid hour, for one solid year, asking, “Why isn’t my Daddy coming home?” I swear it did not ever come up and slap me in the face until it was too late.

I thought she would be fine alone with me until he and I could work out our differences. It was in the back of my mind that we would find our love again, that he would move back in with us, life would be fun again, without the inexplicable tensions and the useless, spiteful arguments. This was not to be.

No matter what our differences, no matter what effort it took, had I really understood the turmoil and grief that lay ahead for my daughter, and thereby for me, I would have found a way to resolve those differences come hell or high water.

I had heard so often, even had firsthand proof with my own little brothers during my parent’s traumatic split, that it was always the children who suffer most in the midst of parental disharmony.

Yet blindly, stubbornly, selfishly, I forged ahead, crucifying our beautiful daughter because we adults weren’t ‘happy enough’. In fairness to myself, I did make attempts to regroup. After several distressing weeks of seeing how very much Gen missed her Dad, after realizing there was a possibility he had no plans to work things out, I have a painful recollection of actually begging him to stay with us until Gen was five, reasoning that if we could stay together as a family for just two more years, she would have time for at least a glimpse of two-parent family life. Perhaps time to amass enough memories to store and sustain her through the tough times to come. Perhaps even time for us to get the magic back.

He replied coldly, “It’s better to split now while she is little.”

Hindsight is a great teacher but a source of vast sadness and regret. Surely I could have cleared my mind throughout those first weeks of separation enough to focus on the only important fact; Genevieve deserved and needed her two parents.

When a parent dies, and the other is left to soldier on alone, that is a different tragedy for both child and spouse, a different sense of loss. But a father who is down the road with another family…that leaves a sense of abandonment and betrayal that has to be overcome every day in a million small ways.

Surely I could have summoned the strength and the appropriate measure of conciliation and dignity needed to get through to her Dad. Surely I could have found someone to talk with us, to mediate, to bring us back to the positive things in our lives.

Why had I

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