Holidays with the Professor by Alexa Padgett

Author:Alexa Padgett
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Alexa Padgett

CHAPTER 7

Libby

I cried with Hudson. Freshly diapered, I fed him, walking him through the apartment that was now mine. Laurel had moved out the day before—right after her last final. She’d wanted to spend the holidays with her family before she started her position in Lexington.

The place felt cavernous, echoing with my noises because we no longer had the rug in the living room or Laurel’s ancient side chair I’d preferred over my couch.

I sighed as I tipped my face toward the window, the grayness of the weather suiting my mood. My tears had dried, as had Hudson’s now that he greedily sucked at his bottle.

“You’re all I need, little man,” I said.

But my words rang hollow. He could leave me. He should leave me at some point. I would be alone then, and I’d only have myself to blame. Jamieson Finch had offered himself to me.

He wanted me. He wanted me to meet his son.

Those actions were not his modus operandi. Jamieson Finch was cold, a wizard with functions and equations but not known for his interpersonal skills. If the rumors were true, each semester, a few female students tried to seduce him. I’d heard he was particularly careful with any woman because the mere hint of impropriety could cost him his reputation. I couldn’t blame him for wanting to stay away from potential lawsuits and campus inquiries.

What he’d shown me, that vulnerability, was even more impressive because of his history. And I’d flung his emotions back in his face, shut the door before I’d even really considered his offer.

“I’m afraid,” I said. Hudson stared up at me, his eyes still the blue of babyhood but muddying quickly. They’d be brown soon—possibly hazel, like my brother’s.

“I lost so many people in such a short time. My life changed after my parents’ death, then again after your parents’. I don’t know how to not be afraid that life will change again, that I’ll lose more people. But that’s not logical—that’s emotional. A fear I don’t want to pass along to you, sweet boy. How can I be brave when the mere idea of allowing someone else into my heart makes my heart pound? It’s been so tattered. Do I even have one left?”

I did. I wouldn’t feel this way if I didn’t.

“What should I do? How do I figure this out?”

Unlike a mathematical equation, I couldn’t solve this problem with logic. I would have to be honest. Vulnerable.

Was there anything worse than opening myself up to more hurt?

Hudson pushed away the bottle and smiled, bright and big and enough to take my breath away. I never tired of his smiles, which lit up his entire face and seemed to start with his enormous eyes.

“You’re right, sweetie. You just do it.”

Hudson added a coo and a giggle to his next smile, and I cuddled him closer.

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