Have a Nice Doomsday by Nicholas Guyatt

Author:Nicholas Guyatt
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins

The outline matched up with the Powerpoint presentation, and the church regulars scribbled in the missing words as Mark moved through his slides. There was nothing here about gays or Muslims—just a series of simple messages about submitting to Christ.

The music was also a surprise after the slick performances at Cornerstone. A choir of a dozen was led by a bearded man in his sixties, and a round lady played the piano bombastically as the congregation belted out traditional hymns. Occasionally the words—projected onto the big screens—were out of synch with the music, which left the choir to soldier on without us. The only worshipper who seemed Cornerstone-zealous was a burly man at the front wearing a blue shirt and bright green trousers. He threw his hands into the air during the hymns, which was de rigueur in San Antonio but which marked you out in this crowd. During “Holy Holy Holy,” I noticed that when he got to the part about the blessed Trinity, he screwed up his thumb and pinkie and left his three middle fingers in the air.

When the hymns were over, we were treated to an ambitious finale. The speakers began to play what sounded like the theme from Magnum, P.I., and the choir attempted a complicated number called “Worship the Lord!” They didn’t seem completely comfortable, partly because the music was on tape so this was effectively karaoke for them. The congregation listened politely but nervously, worried about the choir’s chances of getting through the song but grateful that it wasn’t being Powerpointed for the rest of us to butcher. Perhaps the guy who wrote the Magnum theme tune, or someone else who made their money in L.A. writing TV music, had come to Palm Springs and written devotionals in their golden years. I scanned the room for Hal Lindsey, but there was no sign of him. When “Worship the Lord!” concluded (to relieved applause), Pastor Mark gave the blessing and sent us on our way.

When I got back to my hotel room, I had an e-mail from an unexpected source. Before I’d come out to California, I’d written to David Chagall, the host of a cable show on Bible prophecy called The Last Hour, which is produced in Agoura, just north of Los Angeles. I wanted to meet David because he seemed like a good example of someone further down the prophecy food chain than John Hagee or Tim LaHaye.

The Last Hour has been running on cable stations from New York to Hawaii for nearly ten years, but I’d first seen it on the Manhattan Neighborhood Network, which helped me to place its reach and influence. MNN is a public access station—everyone in New York with a cable box can watch the network, and local communities are encouraged to produce their own television shows or suggest other community-produced programming from further afield. (Such as The Last Hour.) Although the audience is potentially huge, in reality the content is often quite amateurish and attracts a niche audience.

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