Fumbled Hearts: A Bi Awakening Gay Romance (Tennessee U Romance Book 2) by Denver Shaw

Author:Denver Shaw [Shaw, Denver]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Shaw's Sweetheart Books
Published: 2023-07-05T16:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 18

MADDOX

Ethan and I didn't come up for air until we'd come a few more times. For someone who'd only been with women in the biblical sense, making out with Ethan felt natural, fun, and just amazing. Was it because Landry, the other half of my soul, my best friend, was gay? Casting my eyes upward, I imagine that if I were to place a bet, he'd be looking down at me right now with a smirk on his face. I imagine him telling me that not only was he the older twin, born thirteen minutes before I was, but he was the smarter one to know he was gay first. And I feel the sting of tears behind my eyes because it's during moments like these that I wish he were here.

How can I go on without you, Lands? I miss you so much. Need you so badly.

A tear spills from the corner of my eye, and I swipe at it with the back of my hand. The problem with losing someone you love is that the gaping hole they leave in your heart never closes; you just learn to live with the open wound. Because the only person who's capable of healing your heart is the same person who was ripped away from it. The fucked up thing is that the person won't be coming back to you. You just have to hope they're right beside you when you feel the caress of the wind on your cheeks, or inhale the scent of freshly cut grass, or hear the melody you're singing in your head. All the little things you would've been happy to share with the person you've lost.

Life is such a temporary thing, and death is forever. And I'm lying in the bed where I’d had some amazing, sexy times, but I was having an existential crisis.

Ethan is lying beside me, but he's deeply engrossed in his conversation with his family. When he ends the call, he faces me. “Well?”

I grin. “I got an eighty-four. Brought my GPA to where I needed it to be, so I’m back on the team. Thanks to you.”

“Congratulations! But you were never off the team,” he points out. “You just couldn’t play.”

“True, true.” My smile turns into a frown. “Yeah, well…um, I have something else to tell you…um, to ask you, actually. I was wondering if you’d come to Thanksgiving with me. It’s sort of dumb but my mom’s been asking me if I was going to bring anybody and I…um…thought that maybe you’d like to come.”

“Won’t your parents think that’s weird?” Ethan asks me. “You bringing a guy and all?”

“Nope.” I reply, deliberately choosing not to elaborate. I knew without a doubt that if Ethan knew how messy things were at home, he’d never want to come. All the stuff with Landry… I swallowed. The less he knew about my brother, the better. At least for now. He’d probably run a mile if he knew.

He looks at me, still unsure.

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