For Sam, times infinity by Suki Fleet

Author:Suki Fleet [Fleet, Suki]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-11-14T16:00:00+00:00

IV

SOMETHING ALARMING drags me briskly out of sleep and into a room full of unfamiliar darkness. I do not feel at all disorientated or unnerved by this. Which in itself should be unnerving. I know exactly where I am. Exactly whose heavy arm drapes protectively over my ribs, whose warm body is spooned around mine, whose presence is keeping the shadows at bay. And I also know, as though it is an urgent message written in my bones, that I must go.

The bleat of a siren in a nearby street sends my heart racing. Beyond doubt I know it is sirens that woke me.

It is not necessarily that I think the sirens are for me—what I have done is unlikely to been seen as an emergency-level thing—it is just letting myself be found here and involving Sam in it cannot in any way happen. Whatever wild impulse drove me here to him has long since vanished. I ran away, and now with the flat, sick feel of resignation swirling inside me, I must run back. There are consequences for me to face back at Pine Grove.

Holding my breath, I ease out from under Sam’s arm. In the grainy dark I can just about make out my shoes by the door, my scuffed phone resting on top of Sam’s on the thick telephone directories piled up to make a nightstand (reflexively I reach for the thing and stare at the screen through habit only—I could not currently care less about the time).

I need nothing more than these objects, and yet I remain crouched next to the mattress unable to just go. Noticing a pen on the nightstand, I carefully ease a page from one of the directories, tearing it so slowly the sound is less than I make breathing. The page is filled with adverts and there is not much space to write, and I also cannot see very well what I am writing, so I know it will likely be an unintelligible mess. My only hope is Sam understands all I want him to know.

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