Dark Moon Digest Issue 20 by Lori Michelle

Author:Lori Michelle [Michelle, Lori]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: epub, ebook, QuarkXPress
Publisher: Perpetual Motion Machine Publishing
Published: 2015-08-11T00:00:00+00:00

FAST, FRESH AND DELICIOUS

M.G. Allen

Lance killed the engine of his late-model Honda Accord and pulled out the warm delivery bag from his passenger seat. He peered over the car and sized up the house to determine what kind of tippers they might be. The white flaked paint on the outside, the dusty eighties-model clunker in the driveway, and the overgrown hedges didn’t inspire much hope.

He squinted at some strange object that was half-submerged in the grisly-looking hedges that lined the front window. The dirty plastic thing smiled at him under a pointed red hat. It was ol’ Saint Nick!

It’s fucking July! He thought. What kind of crack-head leaves Christmas decorations in their yard all year long?

Usually not big tippers.

I gotta get transferred to the other Pizza Joe’s ASAP. His friend Tony worked there. He made better tips, had better clientele. Lance considered getting a different job altogether: wait tables at a restaurant somewhere. There was a lot more labor involved but he wouldn’t have to wear out his car and deal with as many freaks.

Something needed to change soon. The money had been terrible lately. His fifteen year-old car was a financial ticking time bomb. He had noticed a few suspicious rattles under the hood lately and the tires were wearing pretty thin. Then there was his bill and rent situation. He’d been coming up pretty short on those in the last few months. He still owed his roommate eighty bucks for the previous month’s rent.

Climbing the creaky steps to the house, he knocked on the weathered screen door. The button of the doorbell jutted out from the house like a sprung eyeball.

Nothing. He knocked again. His shoulder tightened with pain so he switched the bag to his other hand.

The inner door opened. Just a tiny space. He waited patiently for it to open more but it didn’t.

“Hello?” he asked. “A large pepperoni and double sausage?”

That’s how he always talked to them. Strictly pizza language. He never complimented their gardenias, never engaged them in politics, no discussions about the weather or existential philosophy. Hell, he rarely used pronouns, verbs, or even complete sentences with them. They were the money givers and pizza takers. He was the pizza giver and money taker.

And a pretty pissed one at this point.

“A large pepperoni and double sausage?”

A wet nasty sound blasted from the small open space in the door. Some kind of respirator? The noise was snottier and throatier, like somebody was trying to breathe while submerged in a tub of oatmeal. Some of the sounds were rounded as if she/he/it was trying to form words.

A yellowish jagged nail poked through the opening, then a whole finger emerged. It felt along the chipped paint of the door. It grew as it extended outward. Lance stepped back, staring at this monstrosity.

Three other fingers emerged, fatty brown knuckles at the ends of them, scraping along the flakes of paint.

Next came an entire hand, reaching out to him, flexing its horrid claws. With a slithering movement, as if the arm contained no bones, it made a sharp left and snapped at the pizza bag.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.