Crossing the Curriculum by Zamel Vivian;Spack Ruth;

Author:Zamel, Vivian;Spack, Ruth; [VIVIAN ZAMEL AND RUTH SPACK]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Taylor & Francis Group
Published: 2011-09-05T00:00:00+00:00

BEST INTENTIONS: A SMALL STORM

There is a scene that keeps coming back to the surface of my consciousness. More than a half year has passed since then, but for some reason that scene remains clear in my memory, and it often leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. It grows more vivid every single time. So, I cannot erase it frommymind.

It happened in the beginning of last semester at the very end of one of my classes. Right after we students were given a writing assignment, the following words were uttered in a loud clear voice: “People where English is not your first language, you don’t need to worry about your grammar!” said the professor. How was I supposed to feel at that moment? As an ESL student who is always troubled with the grammatical problems, perhaps I should have felt relieved at the thought of life without that burden on my shoulders. Yet, my reaction was completely different from what it ought to be or what the professor might expect. I neither felt relieved nor content; instead I was struck with a very uncomfortable feeling.

“Why did you say that? Why did you need to say that in front of everybody?” I wished I could express my uneasy feelings to the professor, not in 111 front of everybody, but after everybody left the classroom. Instead, I put my stuff into my bag, swallowed my emotions or sentiments, and left the classroom with haste to my home.

On my way home, I was bothered by what the professor said, but on the other hand, I was also disturbed by the fact that I could not easily accept and appreciate those words; especially when I was pretty sure that those words were uttered to take a little burden from us. I did not, however, know how to deal with that complex situation. By the time I arrived at home, a collision of those two sentiments came to emerge a small storm in my mind.

As soon as I recognized my partner Kevan, the feeling of chagrin overwhelmed my mind and the tears kept filling my eyes and would not stop. By tapping my back softly, Kevan consoled my mind and cheered me up. By the time my tears stopped, I was able to face that day’s incident and explore the reasons why I was so upset.

One purpose of the course was to examine stereotypes—which we ordinary people innocently, unconsciously, or ignorantly have carried for many years—and if we found those images did not reflect the reality, we were ready to tear down and to banish them. Since the beginning of the course, my chest heaved with anxiety when I thought about how meaningful the course was, and how seriously the professor took the subject. I thought the professor might be one of those professors whom I secretly respected and looked up to.

Then that incident. I felt startled; I felt as if somebody poured cold water on my face. Those words were the last thing that I expected to hear from the professor in front of the class.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.