ARMY OF THE TED by Done Joshua

Author:Done, Joshua
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2022-09-29T00:00:00+00:00

Ted slogged back into the camp. He had thought the area without human activity would be less muddy, but if anything, the undisturbed ground was even more soggy. He had lost his boots half-a-mile back and was now cursing the fact that he had stayed behind to scout, allowing the enemy army to pass him by. He had learned nothing useful, and now he was forced to make the long way round to the plague camp.

Glancing at the horizon, Ted raised a few fingers to try to count how much longer it was till sundown. The finger counting system wasn’t quite the same on Komar, but once he acclimated to the difference, it was still a useful tool.

“Two hours,” he said to himself. “That’s a long time to hold off an entire army.”

“If everyone did their jobs, we should be able to manage it,” Ulgrabor said.

“Really?” Ted asked. “You are expecting Nancy and Tug to do their jobs?”

“The fat baron is not incompetent.”

“Yes,” Ted agreed. “But I trust him as far as I can throw him.”

“That’s pretty far.” Ulgrabor pointed out. “He isn’t a huge man and you can probably throw him at least twenty feet.”

“Bah!” Ted shouted. “That idiom made more sense when I was human.”

“I guess it would,” Ulgrabor agreed.

Reaching the edge of the camp, Ted was met with the death knights and Calozek. To his right, the road stretched into the distance where the Altran army was just coming into view.

“How many do you think there are?” Calozek asked.

“At least five thousand,” Ted said. “All told it’s a small army.”

“Small army?” Calozek asked in shock. “What would you consider a large army?”

“When my country invaded another, they sent a hundred thousand soldiers and support personnel. I know of wars that involved a lot more than that. Supposedly two or three thousand years ago, the Greeks fought an army of a million with three hundred men.”

“Million?”

“A thousand thousands.”

Calozek looked incredulous as they fanned out on the road, more undead filing out of the camp behind them. “I can’t even imagine that many people. It must have carpeted the land, like ants.”

“Something like that,” Ted said. “I didn’t see it, it happened thousands of years before I was born. But that’s nothing. I’ve seen pictures and video from the battle of Berlin. Over a million people died in that and close to three million people fought in it. A lot of the people who died were civilians.”

“Three… million?” Calozek asked.

“Ted speaks in riddles and mystery,” Nancy said as she came up behind the pair of undead. “He knows of horrors we can only imagine, and most of them have nothing to do with undeath.”

“Your world really is hell,” Calozek said. “Hell spat you into our world to take vengeance on the Compact… how evil must the priests have become to call down such vengeance.”

Ted didn’t know how to reply. Frowning, he glanced back at Nancy. “Is everything ready?”

“Yes,” she said, nodding. “We just need to hold them here until sundown.

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