Without Benefits by Nicole Tone

Author:Nicole Tone [Tone, Nicole]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Magnolia Press

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“Emma?” Owen was carrying his case in one hand, the other tucked into the pocket of his peacoat. Practice had ended with a perfect go-through of the first few songs once they were warmed up. It had been, by far, their best rehearsal yet.

“Yes?”

“Listen, I know things are . . . they're, well, bad. I know they're bad. But I just wanted to offer it up. If you wanted to come stay with me instead of at your sister’s, I have a guest room and a piano.”

“As if that's all a girl could need.” She smiled.

“No, I know. It's not home. It's not your home. But the offer still stands. I just . . .” he trailed off, conflict etched into the lines next to his eyes and the way he clenched his jaw. “I lost you for so long. I don't want that to happen again.”

“What do you mean?”

He looked back at her, laughing. “You really have to ask, after all this time?”

Emma shook her head. “Owen, really, I—”

“Emma?”

She looked over to see Connor getting out of his car. Swallowing, she turned to face him.

“What are you doing here?”

“I just . . . I had to see you. I had to tell you I'm sorry in person.”

She could see Owen backing up out of the corner of her eye. “Connor, I can't do this right now.”

“Why not?”

“We're in public.”

“I know you asked me to give you space, but I needed to see you. I needed to make sure you were okay.”

She could hear the desperation in his voice, the lack of sleep, the too much crying. There were few times she could remember him crying and his voice had been similar: raw, too full, thirsty for something more stable than the experience he was having at that time.

“How could you expect me to just be fine?”

Cars rushed past them, ignorant to the lives that were shattering right on the sidewalk. She needed this to happen on her own terms. It was only yesterday that she sat in Leah’s kitchen, unable to tell Molly what she wanted to do.

Him being here was messy, unprecedented. Him being here threw everything off. The desperation in his eyes, the way his voice shook, exploited her own pain. In rejection, she only wanted to feel validation. Connor was the only one who could make her feel that way.

“I didn't do it. I promise. I didn't do whatever she said. I could never do that to you. Please, you have to believe me. You have to believe that you mean too much to me. I could never do that do you.”

Emma looked away from him. Cars stopped and they went, controlled by the streetlights. Bass thumped too hard from one car while the gentle crooning of a man's voice left the half-open windows of another. It was a strange clash of music, and of melody.

“I don't know,” Emma began, “if I can trust what you say. Rachel said she has proof.

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