The Tender Parts: A Guide to Healing from Trauma through Internal Family Systems Therapy by Ilyse Kennedy

Author:Ilyse Kennedy [Kennedy, Ilyse]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: PESI Publishing, Inc.
Published: 2022-11-02T00:00:00+00:00

Copyright © 2022, Ilyse Kennedy. The Tender Parts. All rights reserved.

6

Accessing Self-Energy

I feel an illuminating in my chest and a clear line of energy down the center of my body. My face feels calm and my brain alert. I can feel the breath flowing through me, awakening my presence. I feel myself ready to connect to those outside of me. With my own parts at bay, present but settled, I am able to acknowledge them when they show up, sending the compassion they need to step to the side so I can be in full presence once again. In this state, I am able to be fully present with others—welcoming their parts without my own coming in to react or protect. I can view others in their full humanity and acknowledge my own. My body is at rest. I feel the flow of safety within me and can offer it to others. There is a peacefulness radiating within me. There is strength and trust in the connection my feet have to the earth and the bookend of my head looking up to the sky. I am safe. I am open. I am free. I embody safety. I embody openness. I embody freedom.

Although we all possess Self-energy, some of us have more access to it than others. In interpersonal neurobiology terms, the concept of Self-energy equates to the experience of being regulated (Siegel, 2012). In polyvagal terms, it equates to the experience of being in a ventral vagal state (Dana, 2018). It might also equate to the experience of mindfulness, in which we have the ability to watch our own thoughts without immediately reacting to them.

As discussed in previous chapters, IFS considers Self-energy to be a well of calming presence within. When we are in Self-energy, it doesn’t mean that no parts are present, but that we can allow our parts to be present without becoming blended with them or allowing them to overtake the system. In Self-energy, we have compassionate access to our own internal world and can face it without judgment. It allows us to interact with our own internal world and others from a place of openness, as we hold acceptance and curiosity for each part that arises.

The experience of Self-energy is different for each person. When I experience Self-energy, I feel a distinct state within my body that exudes calming clarity. I can feel a soft energy flowing through me, connecting me with my own internal world and creating space to connect with the world outside of me. My breath flows gently without my needing to change or alter it. I feel alert but not alarmed. I feel centered, as though an energy creates a flowing line from my sternum to my head. There is openness flowing from my heart, as though a circle has formed around it. I am able to sit without judgment or agenda, while acknowledging any parts if they come forward. When I experience Self-energy, it is as though my body is saying “welcome” to myself and the world around me.

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