The Middle Voice: Mediating Conflict Successfully, Second Edition by Joseph B. Stulberg & Lela Porter Love
Author:Joseph B. Stulberg & Lela Porter Love
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: Arbitration, Negotiation, Law, Mediation
ISBN: 9781611634082
Publisher: Carolina Academic Press
Published: 2013-03-25T21:00:00+00:00
Perspective
Since parties to a mediation do not have to agree, a mediator, in trying to advance resolution, must help them re-examine their perspectives and positions. He does so not only by convincing them that proposed solutions are consistent with their interests, but also by using a series of maneuvers that psychologically position the parties for agreement. Here are some standard techniques that a mediator uses to alter a partyâs attitude. The mediator must remember that any technique is effective only when used sparingly and sincerely.
1. Allow for choice. When parties become locked into a volley of bitter and biting exchanges, an escalating cycle can generate more and more damage. A mediator might ask, âWould you like to continue this conversation about who is at faultâa conversation you have been having for a long timeâor do you want to see if we can resolve the issue of _______?â Simply laying out the choice sometimes empowers parties to move in a different direction.
2. Stroke âem. Everyone likes to be complimented. A mediator must reinforce positive behavior by reminding parties that their willingness to mediate, to listen to one another, to come up with proposals, and to âhang inâ after (sometimes) many hours of emotional discussion is commendable. When people are praised, they feel stronger. When they are stronger, they are more responsive to others and more creative. To the extent parties are doing a good job, tell them so!
3. Cite examples with which people can identify. A mediator must teach and persuade by using vivid examples. To be persuasive, examples must be relevant to, or understandable in the context of, a disputantâs individual experience. The mediator who must prod an autocratic manager to work more productively with his free-spirited subordinates is more effective if he cites examples of differing managerial styles portrayed in episodes of a popular television series than if he appeals to the published findings of social science research regarding leadership behavior.
4. Use humor. Laughing makes people feel comfortable with themselves and their surroundings. It breaks the tension and helps put matters into perspective. A mediator should not use a mediated discussion as an opportunity to polish a comedy routine, but he should not hesitate to inject a humorous remark into the discussions. The only caveats are obvious: the mediator must be sure that everyone gets the joke and the joke must not be at the expense of any party.
5. Try role reversal. Sometimes a party will change his position or better appreciate a particular demand of the other party if the mediator gets him to analyze the negotiating issue from the other partyâs viewpoint. A teenager might resist obeying his parentsâ curfew rules because he believes they are unduly restrictive; but a mediator might get him to reconsider his resistance by making the teenager put himself in his parentsâ shoes and view curfew rules as safety measures developed by persons with an only child living in a high-crime neighborhood.
6. Exploit peer pressure. Sometimes a person changes his mind because he does not want to be the only individual in the group who disagrees with the proposed solution.
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