The Mammoth Book of Extreme Fantasy by Mike Ashley

Author:Mike Ashley [Ashley, Mike]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781780332826
Publisher: Little, Brown Book Group

I scooted up in bed and leaned against the headboard. Janice snorted into the pillow and opened one eye, pinning me with it. “I didn’t mean to wake you,” I said.

“What’s the matter,” she muttered, “too much spaghetti?”

“No. Too much Andrew Detweiler.”

She scooted up beside me, keeping the sheet over her breasts, and turned on the light. She rummaged around on the nightstand for a cigarette. “Who wants to divorce him?”

“That’s mean, Janice,” I groaned.

“You want a cigarette?”

“Yeah.”

She put two cigarettes in her mouth and lit them both. She handed me one. “You don’t look a bit like Paul Henreid,” I said.

She grinned. “That’s funny. You look like Bette Davis. Who’s Andrew Detweiler?”

So I told her.

“It’s elementary, my dear Sherlock,” she said. “Andrew Detweiler is a vampire.” I frowned at her. “Of course, he’s a clever vampire. Vampires are usually stupid. They always give themselves away by leaving those two little teeth marks on people’s jugulars.”

“Darling, even vampires have to be at the scene of the crime.”

“He always has an alibi, huh?”

I got out of bed and headed for the bathroom. “That’s suspicious in itself.”

When I came out she said, “Why?”

“Innocent people usually don’t have alibis, especially not one every three days.”

“Which is probably why innocent people get put in jail so often.”

I chuckled and sat on the edge of the bed. “You may be right.”

“Bert, do that again.”

I looked at her over my shoulder. “Do what?”

“Go to the bathroom.”

“I don’t think I can. My bladder holds only so much.”

“I don’t mean that. Walk over to the bathroom door.”

I gave her a suspicious frown, got up, and walked over to the bathroom door. I turned around, crossed my arms, and leaned against the door frame. “Well?”

She grinned. “You’ve got a cute rear end. Almost as cute as Burt Reynolds’. Maybe he’s twins.”

“What?” I practically screamed.

“Maybe Andrew Detweiler is twins. One of them commits the murders and the other establishes the alibis.”

“Twin vampires?”

She frowned. “That’s a bit much, isn’t it? Had they discovered blood groups in Bram Stoker’s day?”

I got back in bed and pulled the sheet up to my waist, leaning beside her against the headboard. “I haven’t the foggiest idea.”

“That’s another way vampires are stupid. They never check the victim’s blood group. The wrong blood group can kill you.”

“Vampires don’t exactly get transfusions.”

“It all amounts to the same thing, doesn’t it?” I shrugged. “Oh, well,” she sighed, “vampires are stupid.” She reached over and plucked at the hair on my chest. “I haven’t had an indecent proposition in hours,” she said, grinning.

So I made one.

Wednesday morning I made a dozen phone calls. Of the nine victims I knew about, I was able to find the information on six.

All six had the same blood group.

I lit a cigarette and leaned back in the swivel chair. The whole thing was spinning around in my head. I’d found a pattern for the victims, but I didn’t know if it was the pattern. It just didn’t make sense. Maybe Detweiler was a vampire.

“Mallory,” I said out loud, “you’re cracking up.

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