Rude Bitches Make Me Tired: Slightly Profane and Entirely Logical Answers to Modern Etiquette Dilemmas by Celia Rivenbark

Author:Celia Rivenbark
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
Published: 2013-10-22T04:00:00+00:00

chapter 14

Always Leave Them Wanting More: The Art of the Visit

Visiting hours are over.

It’s not just a phrase you hear around 9 P.M. if you’re in a hospital. It’s true of life in general. Growing up in the South, I was accustomed to the Sunday-afternoon drop-in. Everybody did it, usually visiting relatives that hadn’t been seen since last Sunday and were most likely to have some homemade blueberry pie lying around somewhere.

No one would’ve thought of calling. It simply wasn’t necessary.

Oh, how quaint it all sounds now. Also intrusive. But this was the way lives were updated, friendships were nurtured, and family ties were strengthened.

No more. Visiting hours are over. They have been replaced with “Text me and maybe we can get together.” If I sound a little peckish about the whole thing, it’s because I am. I really miss that blueberry pie. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit the system had its flaws. The true “drop in” always does. From the nosy in-laws dropping by on a Sunday afternoon just as you and your husband are, well, getting to know each other better, to the drop-in cousin who simply won’t leave, because she has nothing else to do that afternoon. Who among us hasn’t manufactured a “We were just on our way to…” when greeting an unexpected visitor? Better to tell a little tale than be held hostage in your home for upwards of three hours, am I right?

Still, I get a little misty-eyed when I think about lazy Sunday afternoons that brimmed with possibility. You never knew who might drop by or whom you might drop in on your own self. The Princess will never know of this grand tradition, and I find that a wee bit sad.

With visits, planned or unplanned, it’s important to remember the number one rule of visiting etiquette: Always leave them wanting more.

Question: You mentioned the hospital visiting hours. I was recently in the hospital for a few days, and I was surprised how many people pay no attention whatsoever to visiting hours or how long they stay. I was exhausted, but visitors stayed and stayed in my room, asking me questions and disturbing my rest. What’s the correct etiquette on asking friends to leave you alone so you can recover?

Of course, it’s cloddish to visit someone in the hospital and not pay attention to the telltale signs that it’s time for you to go, such as heavy sighing by the patient, who is also pointing at an imaginary watch on his wrist. Some people are simply so caught up in the fabulous ambience of being in a tower filled with the sick and dying that they can hardly tear themselves away! Seriously, I say this only to remind you that, yes, visitors can be a pain, but it’s no fun for them either. They’re probably staying so long because it took them an hour to find a parking space, find someone who knows which room you’re in, discover that you’re no

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