Gag Me with a Spoon: Major Bummer Murders #1 by Melrose McFadden & Elizabeth Thomas & Leslie Thwaits

Author:Melrose McFadden & Elizabeth Thomas & Leslie Thwaits [McFadden, Melrose]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2022-01-03T16:00:00+00:00

SEVENTEEN

I turn the Rabbit inland, and after a few minutes, we can’t even see the blue line of ocean in the rearview mirror. We leave the bright lights and roller coaster sounds of the boardwalk behind us to the tourists, and take to the beachy side-streets, where yards are half overtaken by sand or beach grass, and there’s a surfboard or two in every yard.

Another half-mile inland, and rows of sun-bleached condos and apartments fill the landscape. Here, surfboards and bicycles are stored on balconies, and rainbow-colored beach towels hang over the railings, drying in the breeze. Homes along the top half of these buildings can claim an ocean view if you squint, and the landlords can easily sell the idea that the beach is only a few minutes’ drive away. Convenience stores and gas stations sit at intersections, advertising cheap beer, hot dogs, and smokes.

As we head farther west, older suburbs dominate the landscape. Some lawns are well-maintained, green and lush and lined with maidenhair fern and sago palm. Wooden placards decorated with bright paint and seashells assign names to the homes, like “Casa de Azul” and “Seagull’s Nest.” Other lawns are overgrown with ice plant instead of grass, and with monstera vines climbing up palm trees and nearby walls. One home has several plastic flamingos lying on their sides like they were attacked by a giant seagull and didn’t have the will to live.

I turn right on Terrace Trail and then take another right on Coral Ave. Homes and giant ferns give way to strip malls, pawn shops, and local mom-and-pop restaurants. Each restaurant promises the best hamburger in the state, and I wonder how that possibly can be true. Especially because everyone knows the best burger in the state is Wahoo Burgers and Buns, down just a block inland from the boardwalk.

I pull into the parking lot of Ten Pins. A giant red neon sign in the shape of a bowling pin towers over the mud brown building. The parking lot has a few cars in it and maybe a dozen motorcycles. It doesn’t seem to be too busy, but it’s still fairly early. Andre gets out and closes the car door. When I meet him at the front of the car, he takes my elbow and looks down at me.

“Let me do the talking,” he says.

“We’ll see,” I say, not willing to commit to anything. I guess it’s almost cute that he’s trying to protect me, but we’re partners in this. Honestly, maybe we’re not even that. It’s my business that’s at stake here. He has nothing invested in this fight. He could turn this whole thing into another book, or just up and leave town at any time. I march toward the door with Andre on my heels, then yank open the door and walk into darkness.

I take off my sunglasses and peer around the place. The walls are painted a dark turquoise blue, and white stenciled letters at least five feet tall spell out “Bowling” and “Lanes.

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