Duke Sucks: A Completely Evenhanded, Unbiased Investigation into the Most Evil Team on Planet Earth by Reed Tucker & Andy Bagwell

Author:Reed Tucker & Andy Bagwell [Tucker, Reed]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
Published: 2012-01-31T00:00:00+00:00

EXHIBIT E

MATCH-THE-QUOTE GAME

Duke players and coaches have said some idiotic, ridiculous, and otherwise head-scratching stuff over the years. Can you figure out who said what?

Foul Miami. (Courtesy of Rob Goodlatte)

1. “As long as you don’t bring your gayness on me I’m fine. As far as business-wise, I’m sure I could play with him. But I think it would create a little awkwardness in the locker room.”—A former Duke player on John Amaechi, the NBA’s first openly gay player

2. “My life story is read in poetic stages/ I was once weak-minded, now I’m courageous/The cause and effect of a thousand actions/The mathematical breakdown of micro-fractions.”—A Dookie’s horrific attempt at poetry

3. “No one thinks more highly of me than probably myself. I think that’s fine.”

4. “The greatest thing is knowing that I loved you and you loved me back.”—A Dookie on Coach K

5. “The first couple of weeks here, I didn’t eat three meals a day. I sometimes just forgot. Small things like getting a haircut, keeping up your hygiene—things you don’t pay attention to because Mom and Dad take care of them.”

6. “I sleep with a ball. I carry it wherever I go the day before and day of our games. Whenever I get off a bus, I always have a ball in my hands. I just like to get the feel of it and have great dreams that night. I’m not ever going to say that when I wake up the ball isn’t on the floor, but I want it there to have good thoughts when I go to bed.”

7. “Coach smiled at me. I was aglow. I thought, ‘He likes me. He can tell I’m a good person.’ Then he said I had angelic eyes.”

A. Christian Laettner

B. Shavlik Randolph

C. Kyle Singler

D. Chris Duhon

E. J. J. Redick

F. DeMarcus Nelson

G. Steve Wojciechowski

Answers: 1: B 2: E 3: A 4: G 5: C 6: D 7: F

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