Building Resilience in Children and Teens by Kenneth R Ginsburg

Building Resilience in Children and Teens by Kenneth R Ginsburg

Author:Kenneth R Ginsburg
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: American Academy of Pediatrics
Published: 2020-08-15T00:00:00+00:00


Getting to Calm

Co-regulation is a term usually used to describe how our calming presence supports another person. However, the opposite is just as true. Our anger, condescension, or fear can escalate a situation and make it that much harder for a young person to regain their footing. It is important, therefore, that you first get yourself to a calm state. Learning how to do this will offer you so much more than allowing you to better parent. It will offer you the capacity to self-regulate, to improve your clarity of thought, to get to the point of relaxation, and ultimately to improve your health. When your higher brain functions dominate, you’ll learn that you are able to accomplish more and do so efficiently. When you learn to lower your stress load, your body will notice when your sympathetic nervous system is replaced with your parasympathetic nervous system. This has potential lifelong health benefits for you.

Strategies to get to calm are well-described in Part 6 of this book when we cover coping. As you explore that section, please highlight these key points that will enhance your ability to co-regulate:

Outrun the Threat. If dysregulation is about feeling like there is danger present, then one of the best ways of getting to calm is to feel that you’ve outrun the threat. Exercise is a powerful way of using up the stress hormones that activate our sympathetic and limbic systems. It literally communicates to your body that you’ve escaped (outrun!) the danger. See Chapter 38.

Control Thinking. We can control how we think. We can interrupt panic-driven catastrophic thoughts. This can be the second step to calm—after you’ve burned off the stress hormones that drive the sympathetic response. This concept is covered in Chapter 14 on thinking clearly and Chapter 36 in which we discuss getting a grip on stress.

Activate the Calm Nervous System. The parasympathetic and sympathetic systems run in parallel. In other words, one is basically active while the other stands in waiting. If we only had a switch to turn on our parasympathetic system, the sympathetic system would dial down, we’d get to calm, and our higher brain functions would dominate. This would allow our thoughtful, reflective selves to win the day. We do have that switch! In Chapter 38, you’ll learn why deep slow breathing is the magic switch to activate your parasympathetic system and restore you to calm. Hence, the title of this chapter, “Take a Breath, You’re Co-regulating.”



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