Androphilia by Jack Donovan & Jack Malebranche

Author:Jack Donovan & Jack Malebranche [Donovan, Jack]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: DISSONANT HUM
Published: 2012-11-04T16:00:00+00:00

Integrity

It’s easy to get away with a lot these days. Most of us don’t settle in small communities where we live and die by our reputations. It’s easy to weasel your way out of things, and a lot of people won’t hold you accountable for telling a bit of a fib, or breaking a promise or shirking your responsibilities—so long as they don’t lose any money in the process. But there’s something pretty damn refreshing in my book when I truly meet a ‘man of his word,’ someone who does what he says he’s going to do, and doesn’t say things he doesn’t mean. And when he can’t follow through, he has a good reason—something beyond ‘I totally didn’t feel like it’—and he apologizes sincerely. That’s the kind of man I want to be around and have among my friends. I’ll be the first to tell you that lying gets a lot of people ahead in life, and that breaking promises is sometimes easier than keeping them. But I just don’t operate that way; I don’t think it’s conduct becoming a grown man. A man is someone you can count on, who is what he says he is.

People don’t expect a lot from gay men. They expect gays to be fruity and flaky and emotional and inconsistent. In my experience, this does often tend to be the case. And I think it reflects poorly on the gays who act that way. It’s more unmanly than wearing a dress. If androphiles are really going to reclaim a sense of manhood, they need to value integrity in themselves and others. They need to be accountable and forthright— maintaining personal integrity and taking responsibility for your actions are deeply intertwined. If you’re going to call yourself a man, you need to be a ‘man of your word.’

Respect

Profound respect is earned through achievement, self-reliance, personal responsibility, and integrity, among other things. I’ve also already touched briefly on self-respect, which is related (or should be) to these values, especially in males. If you have a sense of self-worth based on these things, you’re less likely to treat yourself poorly or put your body in unnecessary peril because you’ll want to remain self-reliant and independent and continue to achieve the goals most important to you.

What I want to discuss here is a baseline respect between men. If androphiles are truly to rejoin the brotherhood of men, it is absolutely essential that they treat other men with the same modicum of respect that they’d want for themselves. This is not, it must be said, a free pass for assholes. But if androphiles want to be respected by other men, they must be prepared to offer the same respect in return—especially when it comes to another man’s sexuality.

I was talking with a young, reasonably attractive straight guy recently, and he admitted that I was the first homo he felt comfortable around, because he didn’t get the feeling that I was waiting to hit on him and I wasn’t bombarding him with nonstop sexual innuendoes.

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