A Rift in Space and Crime by R E McLean
Author:R E McLean [McLean, R E]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Catawampus Press
Published: 2020-05-28T16:00:00+00:00
âHey.â
Lacey stirred. She was dreaming of ice cream sundaes, piled high with strawberries and topped with so much whipped cream it defied gravity. And ten cherries on the top, balanced in a tower.
âHey. Who are you?â
She brushed at the ice cream scoop that was poking into her hip. She grabbed it, eager to attack the sundae. It didnât give.
âWake up.â
She clenched her eyes shut, desperate to stay in the dream. She sniffed then gagged.
She opened her eyes.
A group of people had gathered around her.
It wasnât any ordinary group of people. They looked like rejects from a fancy dress party. One, the tallest, wore a gorilla mask and a red nose. Another wore a blue gingham dress and ruby slippers. She carried a small dog. It yapped at Lacey and she recoiled.
She turned to see the person whoâd been poking her with the ice cream scoop, which she now realized was a three foot long candy cane. The figure was short, wearing what looked like a purple ringmasterâs coat and a pair of trousers in a shade of green that reminded her of snot. She leaned forward to see that it was, in fact, smeared with snot.
She pulled back.
âWho are you?â the person in the ringmasterâs coat asked. âAinât seen you around here before.â
She stood up. They pulled back.
She hesitated, then took a step forward. They took two steps back.
She smiled.
âIâm Lacey. Who are you?â
âIâm Fred,â said the person in the ringmasterâs coat. He pointed at the other two in turn. âThis is my mum, Jackie. And my dad, Phil.â
Lacey squinted at them. âReally?â
The person calling himself Fred wrinkled his nose. âCourse. Why would I lie about something so dumb as our names?â
âYou donât look like a Fred, Jackie and Phil.â
The taller oneâPhilâstepped forward. âDonât cast aspersions on our names, please. Iâll have you know this name has been handed down to me over the generations. I am in fact Philip Hardcastle the Third. Pleased to make your acquaintance.â
He held out his hand. It was clad in a dirty red glove that smelled like heâd plunged it into a bucket of fish and left it there for a few days.
She gripped it with her fingertips. âOK.â
âSo who are you?â asked Jackie. âHow did you get here?â
âIâm Lacey. Didnât I already tell you that?â
âYou donât look very lacy to me,â replied Fred.
Jackie gave him a clip round the ear. âDonât be rude.â She turned to Lacey. âHeâs right though. You donât have scrap of lace on you. And whatâs your name?â
âItâs Lacey.â
âWhat is?â
âMy name.â
âHow can a name be lacy?â asked Fred.
Lacey stared at them. âLacey is my name. L-A-C-E-Y. Lacey.â
Phil took a step back. âOoh. Foreign.â
âIâm American. From Illinois.â
âWhat you doing here then?â asked Jackie. âEveryone got out years ago.â
âNot you.â
Fred grinned. âNope. We stayed put.â
âWe had no choice,â continued Jackie, who looked less pleased. âWasnât our decision to make.â
She shook her head at Lacey. âI still donât understand what youâre doing here, all the way from Illinois.â
âI was brought here. By someone called Pip.
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