A Hoboken Hipster In Sherwood Forest by Mari AKA Marianne Mancusi

Author:Mari AKA Marianne Mancusi
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Medieval Britain, Love Story, Medieval England, Time Travel Romance, Romance, Medieval Romance, Contemporary Romance
ISBN: 9780505526748
Publisher: Black Dog Productions
Published: 2014-09-30T14:00:00+00:00

Please let Robin lose. Please let Robin lose.

Okay, fine, not really. I mean, I want him to win. I do. After all, I can't be selfish here. That arrow could feed a village for a month. But still, this has got to be the icing on my shit cake of a day. Him mooning over her from afar is bad enough. The idea of him tasting her soft lips, her gentle breath in his face...

I hope she ate garlic for breakfast. Or something equally distasteful. Not that he'd probably even notice.

I look over at Robin to see his reaction to the kiss thing. Not shockingly, he's staring up at the dais again, his eyes glazed over, deep in thought. Or deep in love. God, I hate him. Why did I ever think he was the perfect man? He's just like every other sorry excuse for a Y chromosome, wants what he can't have.

" ‘Tis time to begin. Let the contestants be introduced by their squires. First up, the Sheriff of Nottingham."

A burly black-haired man steps up to the podium, unrolling some paper in his hand. The Sheriff of Nottingham, son of Sir..."

He starts droning a list of names. Oh, I recognize this. They did this before jousting in A Knight's Tale. Chaucer made up Heath Ledger's entire family tree so he could sound like he was of noble blood to compete. I don't know if this particular tournament calls for noble blood, but I'd better do something for Robby here, as I think son of Lord Locksley would kind of blow our cover.

"... son of Lord Ashley, who was son of Lord Beckinsworth..."

"Er, do I need to do that for you?" I hiss at Robin.

"Aye," he says, still sounding way too distracted for my liking.

Hmph. It sure would have been nice if he warned me ahead of time. How was I going to come up with a list of fake English names on such short notice?

"Your man is up next," a skinny servant boy informs me, nudging me on the arm. Oh great. "Go up and introduce him."

I hesitantly step onto the podium, feeling the eyes of the crowd on me. I've never been one for public speaking—that was more Danny's thing. I was always more content to disappear in a crowd. Now it seems I have no choice.

"Uh, hello," I stammer. Eesh. If there was a mic in front of me, this would be the moment where it screeched feedback and everyone held their ears. "I'd like to introduce you to Lord …” Lord what? Lord what? I notice Robin's eyes drifting toward the dais again. Loser. Utter loser. "... Lord Jerkoff—inich," I finish. "Yes, Lord Jerkoffinich of the Kingdom Assholia." I notice a few raised eyebrows and whispers among the ladies regarding Robin's last name. I'd better be more obscure from now on. "His dad was Sir Elton of John and his father was Sir Sean of Connery. His father was 'John of Lennon who had a father named Ringo of the Kingdom of Star.

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