School Stories by P. G. Wodehouse
Author:P. G. Wodehouse
Language: eng
Format: azw3, epub
Tags: Humorous stories, Schools -- Fiction
Publisher: Standard Ebooks
Published: 2020-02-20T21:37:48+00:00
VI
By special request the Doctor dropped Charteris within a hundred yards of Merevale’s door.
“Good night,” he said. “I don’t suppose you will value my advice at all, but you may have it for what it is worth. I recommend you stop this sort of game. Next time something will happen.”
“By Jove, yes,” said Charteris, climbing painfully down from the dogcart, “I’ll take that advice. I’m a reformed character from this day onwards. This sort of thing isn’t good enough. Hullo, there’s the bell for lockup. Good night, Doctor, and thanks most awfully for the lift. It was frightfully kind of you.”
“Don’t mention it,” said Dr. Adamson, “it is always a privilege to be in your company. When are you coming to tea with me again?”
“Whenever you’ll have me. I must get leave, though, this time.”
“Yes. By the way, how’s Graham? It is Graham, isn’t it? The fellow who broke his collarbone?”
“Oh, he’s getting on splendidly. Still in a sling, but it’s almost well again now. But I must be off. Good night.”
“Good night. Come to tea next Monday.”
“Right,” said Charteris; “thanks awfully.”
He hobbled in at Merevale’s gate, and went up to his study. The Babe was in there talking to Welch.
“Hullo,” said the Babe, “here’s Charteris.”
“What’s left of him,” said Charteris.
“How did it go off?”
“Don’t, please.”
“Did you win?” asked Welch.
“No. Second. By a yard. Oh, Lord, I am dead.”
“Hot race?”
“Rather. It wasn’t that, though. I had to sprint all the way to the station, and missed my train by ten seconds at the end of it all.”
“Then how did you get here?”
“That was the one stroke of luck I’ve had this afternoon. I started to walk back, and after I’d gone about a quarter of a mile, Adamson caught me up in his dogcart. I suggested that it would be a Christian act on his part to give me a lift, and he did. I shall remember Adamson in my will.”
“Tell us what happened.”
“I’ll tell thee everything I can,” said Charteris. “There’s little to relate. I saw an aged, aged man a-sitting on a gate. Where do you want me to begin?”
“At the beginning. Don’t rot.”
“I was born,” began Charteris, “of poor but honest parents, who sent me to school at an early age in order that I might acquire a grasp of the Greek and Latin languages, now obsolete. I—”
“How did you lose?” enquired the Babe.
“The other man beat me. If he hadn’t, I should have won hands down. Oh, I say, guess who I met at Rutton.”
“Not a beak?”
“No. Almost as bad, though. The Bargee man who paced me from Stapleton. Man who crocked Tony.”
“Great Scott!” cried the Babe. “Did he recognize you?”
“Rather. We had a very pleasant conversation.”
“If he reports you,” began the Babe.
“Who’s that?”
Charteris looked up. Tony Graham had entered the study.
“Hullo, Tony! Adamson told me to remember him to you.”
“So you’ve got back?”
Charteris confirmed the hasty guess.
“But what are you talking about, Babe?” said Tony. “Who’s going to be reported, and who’s going to report?”
The Babe briefly explained the situation.
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Dark Humor | Humorous |
Satire |
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