Love & Ruin by J. A. Owenby

Author:J. A. Owenby [Owenby, J. A.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2018-11-23T18:00:00+00:00

Chapter 14

“Can you talk about it?” he asked, reaching for my hand.

“Yeah, I think so. I’ve remained quiet for so long, maybe it will help to tell you.”

“Did they catch the guy? They obviously had DNA.” His knuckles tightened on the steering wheel, whitening with what I assumed was anger.

“There was no match in the system. My parents took me in for a rape kit the moment they saw me. I was such a mess, my dress was torn, tears stained my dirty cheeks. Everything afterward was almost as intrusive. By that time, I don’t even think I was really in my body anymore. I was in so much pain physically and emotionally, I just checked out. From what Mom and Dad told me, I didn’t speak for a few weeks afterward. The morning sickness started about five weeks later. When Dad refused to allow me to take the morning after pill, I was angry, but I was still in shock from the rape. But when I discovered I was pregnant, something inside me woke up to the harsh reality, and I hated him. I’d never felt hate that strong before.”

Hendrix kept focused on the interstate as we headed back toward Spokane.

“I can’t imagine allowing religious views to dictate a decision like that for your own daughter. I can’t even wrap my head around it,” Hendrix said.

“I was fourteen, weeks away from turning fifteen. I had no rights of my own. I had no transportation or a way out of the house.” I paused and stared out the window, collecting my thoughts.

“I was finally able to see past the hatred for my dad and realized I was carrying a rapist’s child. With all of the insanity—this baby was also mine. A part of me. And how could I turn my back on it? An innocent in all the darkness? I tried to talk myself into keeping it, but I couldn’t. There wasn’t a single day that went by I didn’t wonder if he would harm others like his father had harmed me. How could I bring a child into the world, knowing he might have that part of his father’s DNA? Finally, I pulled my mother into my room one night while Dad was watching TV in the living room and I asked her to take me for an abortion. I was sobbing, literally clutching at her clothes as I sank to my knees begging her. She actually agreed. Mom said she’d have to talk to Dad first since she couldn’t keep a secret that big from him, even though she supported me under the circumstances. She left to speak with him, and minutes later, Dad rushed through my bedroom door and found me curled in a fetal position in the corner of my bedroom. He scooped me up in his arms, carried me to my bed, sat down on the edge, and sobbed with me. It broke him, Hendrix. It broke all of us. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he held me for what felt like hours.

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